...

We're on hold here...

2008-12-06T13:26:00.009-06:00

While we deal with Caden's treatment, this blog will be on hold. Be sure to visit us at his caringbridge page.

Toooooo Cooooooooooooool!!!! Portuguese Television

2008-11-21T19:38:00.005-06:00

Sports!

We Question God Sometimes...

2008-11-17T20:04:00.005-06:00

I keep a journal that I don't write in often. I wanted to share this because it is real. The power of not even having known a person and yet feeling the pain of a loss of her in my heart was more than I could handle.

May 12, 2007 7:47 pm

God, give me Strength....
Give me some, please, I need it.

This day has not been good. I awakened and immediately felt compelled to look at the blog of Claudia. I had to translate the paragraphs and with each one, with each statement, I was getting more agitated, I did not know if they were saying what I thought they were saying...she died...

I feel an immense sadness and unmistakable pain. I do not know what is this that feels this so deeply except on several levels. I've lived this before and it makes no difference that 18 years have passed since something like this reached into my own life and ripped out my heart, and I knew....I knew the pain of my Goddaughter. I knew that she would feel this, and I knew that she did not know yet. She was at her ladies lunch, I presumed, and her presence was no where on the blogs yet. My heart aches for her.

But it's more than that. I didn't know Claudia. And yet the passing of another soul breaks my heart. I don't understand this God...I don't understand why...why her, and why do I feel this like I do? I am mourning the death of someone I never knew, only in a few translated blog entries. If I didn't understand in some small ways spiritual issues, I would need to be institutionalized. This is not normal. It hits me like I knew her. I cry, and then find some strength again only to find myself driving down the street with my heart in the pit of my stomach and it hits again.

It has made me question so much right now. Myself, a lot. I question why...why we must be here, only to suffer and to die, all the while other people suffering in the loss of ourselves? God, I don't understand. I don't understand it God. God... Why do we find ourselves drawn to people, love them, love them with everything, and then they die...they are gone...we are left here with what we feel and that pain is so deep, and so horrible, so haunting that we can never explain it to another. God...please God...I don't understand. Nothing can save us from this. We will always feel the pain of loving another when it is abruptly stopped.

God this hurts. When I read the entries that her friends have posted now, it kills me God. It kills me. I can feel the pain. I went over to Paulo's blog and saw he has a picture movie on there and I had to stop almost immediately after starting it.

I feel alone. I am alone. There is no one to whom I can call up and say, hey, I'm sad. Someone in Portugal died, I didn't know her, I knew of her, but she died and I'm sad. No one would understand that.

So it's you God. I'll tell you. I have this for a reason, and I don't understand it.

I've heard people describe me as being someone who is unapproachable. So imagine if they knew I cry and mourn the death of someone I didn't know...

God, WHY? I need to know why...

Comfort my Goddaughter tonight please. She will need it. If I feel the way I do, I can imagine her pain is 100 times more than this...

Progress...

2008-11-14T11:54:00.002-06:00

I would not normally post something like this if I wasn't doing something to improve, but here it is!

3 weeks since beginning the workouts and losing the addiction to pop, the results are this:

Weight lost: 6lbs

Date	Neck	Bicep	Forearm	Chest	Waist	Hips	Thigh	Calf
11/14/2008	15	13	10	47.5	44.5	49.5	24	16
11/07/2008	15	13	10	48.5	44.5	51	26.5	16
10/30/2008	15	13.5	9.5	49.5	44.5	51.5	26.5	16

15 days sober...

2008-11-08T21:47:00.010-06:00

Killed it, kicked it, got rid of it...15 days and freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee from the addiction. 15 days!!!

I also accepted the 10,000 Step Challenge that was inadvertently given by my supervisor. This is in addition to the workouts I do in the morning, so some days I can get 6,000 before I even get to work! I figure this is good preparation for the Camino in 2010 in SPAIN baby!!! (Lahyna...can you keep up? LOL :o) )

The "A" Team had a very successful week with food and encouraging one another! We also had our first "healthy pot luck" for lunch on Friday. On the menu was: Julie brought chili...very, very good! Julia brought a fruit pizza of which I remarked to Julie (not Julia, she wasn't around, lol) that if heaven had a taste, that was it! Cindy brought a wonderful salad with lettuce, Mandarin oranges, nuts, and a raspberry dressing, and I brought the veggie tray and crackers for the chili! Way to go ladies!!!

History in the making...

2008-11-08T13:36:00.002-06:00

We did it America!!!! Congratulations to our 44th President!

We're Bringing Sexy Back!!!

2008-11-04T17:02:00.006-06:00

'A' Team, keep on going! Everyone is doing a great job and it is so much fun counting steps, points, calories and making these life style changes with all of you!

Go ahead girls, go ahead and be gone with it!

Karma is a what?

2008-10-26T21:50:00.005-05:00

For most of you, this will not make sense. It wasn't intended to make sense. Only those who know this situation or find themselves in this situation understand what I am trying to say. I just have to put this out there.

The other day I was reading the events that would occur when I inquired to someone about my surprise of not knowing of an event going on in the life of someone. The remark of the person I was speaking to? "Let's just say that Karma is a bitch".

Karma is a bitch. First, an event occurred where each and every one of us had the opportunity to show support in a way that I know each one of us would have wanted for ourselves. But that did not happen. And it usually does not. Instead, you made pathetic jokes and questioned the very being of the persons involved. They say what comes around goes around. I believe this. But I also believe that the things that occur in our lives are lessons, ones that make us stronger as we come through them. Did you ask yourselves what you would have done in this situation, or if you knew all of the details of what had occurred? Did you ask yourselves how you can be of assistance to this person during that rough time? I'm sure some of you did, but the rest of you took a passive-aggressive approach to a sensitive situation and you still have not let it go.

So, if Karma is a bitch, then that would mean that you can bet that you will find yourselves in a position where you will need the support of this person and others around you. And if what comes around goes around, you will find yourself without that support. It doesn't just stop where you want it to. It will happen to you, too. Keep that in mind.

That situation? That is theirs and theirs alone. Our task is to be supportive, not to be judgmental of a situation you know nothing about. I've also heard it put like this: that so and so in this position really isn't perfect, that this person tries to make it appear as though they are. What I have come to understand about this person is not at all what you've said. Instead, you've taken your view of this person's supposed "perfection" and found it broken into a million little pieces. And you're disappointed. As well you should be. In your mind, you made this person perfect, and that is a pedestal that no one wants. That's a tough thing to live up to. So you say this person's hair is never out of place or that they seem rigid and is always re-applying lip stick and that somehow, these things make this person perfect? They are not, I've never heard them claim to be, and none of us is. We all see what we want to see most of the time, not how things really are.

I know the situation that prompted these feelings of karma being a bitch; I know which situation you are referring to. Again, remember you do not know the entire situation, only about half of it. All I know is just that this person does what they deem necessary and that those details are none of my concern. I'm sure they had their reasons. Your comment about it though only showed that you were intending to be spiteful and hurtful. You wouldn't want this for yourself, would you? The only person you truly can control is not this person...but yourselves.

It is sooooo pointless and a waste of time to continue to judge people around us. Remember, each of us has lessons to learn in life, and this was one for these people. The lesson for you in this situation may have been to learn to be supportive. I don't know. Only you know. But keep in mind, what comes around goes around, all of the way around, completely around, and none of you are exempt. Neither am I. Understand that you teach people how you wanted to be treated in similar situations by the way you treat another.

So, what is Karma?

Kicking the habit; withdrawal city

2008-10-26T13:21:00.003-05:00

This is serious problem for me and has been since I was a child. Mountain Dew. Pepsi. Any kind of pop for that matter. This is my third attempt to get off and stay off. I don't really remember this first time. The second time was horrible, but I did manage to stop. After a couple of weeks, I allowed myself a sprite. Then one pepsi a day. Then one mountain dew a day. And that, my friends, is how I talked myself BACK into the addiction. This idea that I can have "just one" doesn't last long, so really I cannot have any at all.

I had mysterious fractures in one of my feet a couple years back. I haven't decided if it was just the support of my shoes (usually when my feet start to hurt, it is a good indication that it is time for a new pair of shoes) or the pop addiction, but I do know the caffeine sucks the life out of calcium. I've also had numerous stomach issues that have been bad, but in the last week were simply horrible. So, essentially, I was probably killing myself with pop. Nice, hmmm? After the drama of the stomach issues this week, it was clear that I really need to let go of this. These addictions suck, people.

I am three days off of the stuff. The first day was fine, last night the headache started. The body aches began. What the hell...it is POP, it isn't cocaine! But I knew it would be this way from past experiences.

I find myself very hungry! LOL See, I didn't eat the calories that put on this weight, I drank it. And now that I am not, I feel the hunger...and not only that, the need to drink water from being very thirsty.

So anyhow, I have a new plan. My life keeps me very busy between work and kids. My situation with having a severely autistic son limits who I can leave him with and right now, I only trust my ex-husband and his mother with him. Ex works evenings and his mother is a teacher and needs her space too, so evenings were out of the question. So it makes sense to go in the morning, before work. I work at 8:00, I am usually up early with the kids as it is, and the ex said it would be ok with him to leave the kids at 6:15 am with him. And that's all good and well, right? But what happens if I talk myself out of that too? Ah...see, I thought of that already and so I did this: I rented a locker at the gym. I moved my things that I use in the morning to get ready for work to that locker. LOL So I don't have my hairdryer or any of that here...if I want to dry my hair and put on a little make up, I'll have to do it there...ha ha ha! So I'll shower at the gym and get ready for work there after my workouts.

I am really hoping to stay on the wagon with both of these things...

Wow! The kindness of strangers...

2008-10-26T11:52:00.001-05:00

The Way

2008-10-25T14:39:00.000-05:00

Come on...you know you want to!

2008-10-19T17:32:00.001-05:00

(and Nela, I can soooo see you doing something like this, lololol!!!)

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

LOL

2008-10-19T13:24:00.002-05:00

Scarlet Fever!!!!!!

2008-10-04T13:34:00.003-05:00

My daughter managed to get scarlet fever this week from strep throat. And boy did that move fast! Thursday I was called to get her at school because she hada fever and sore throat, and Friday morning she was rashy, sore, siiiiiiick...but the evening those bumps popped up every where and she was now itchy, too! She's on medication now for it, and today is much, much better. Still rashy, not as itchy, and no fever.

Going Pink!

2008-10-03T08:08:00.002-05:00

October is breast cancer awareness month. On behalf of everyone affected by breast cancer, this month is dedicated to you! Spread the awareness!

Family...

2008-09-28T21:49:00.002-05:00

Proud of them. We are a working class family who have had to work hard to get where we are. We are sarcastic and perverted, crazy and fun, we are not close but we are not far away, either. Grandma and Grandpa very willingly admit they started this whole thing...LOL! They were a young couple who had 7 kids. Those 7 kids went on to have 18 kids. Those 18 kids have well over 21 kids and counting. Soon, the next generation will begin as well. Perhaps there was a race to see who could populate the earth faster, and I think we're winning...

Our family originated in Germany, coming to the United States in the late 1800's. Some stayed behind. We came on a boat into a port in New York and spread ourselves over the Dakota's and eventually, this part of the family in Nebraska.

We're a huge family who must rent social halls for family events. My aunt told me people do not believe her when she tells them this, but, it is true. For well over 10 or 15 years now that has been the case. There is simply not a house big enough for us all!

So, here's to family!

Screams from the toilet...

2008-09-25T20:45:00.002-05:00

LOL...what a day, and thank GOD it is Friday. I've done my usual walk through at work: all is calm, and I may now finally sneak away to use the bathroom. Not much can happen in a few minutes, can it? Yes, of course it can! I hear a scream. I think that I should hurry out of the bathroom to investigate, and when I do, I find a staff member frantically looking for me. I ask her, "did someone scream?"? Yes, yes, someone screamed.

Not much longer later, someone else screams. From in the bathroom. And it's not me. A staff member is irritated with the bottom roll of toilet paper and the top roll will not unroll and so she is irritated and makes some noise...and then realizes we probably heard that and are wondering what the hell is going on.

At least the days are never boring around there...

LOL

2008-09-16T17:53:00.001-05:00

Until next time, Portugal...

2008-09-13T14:16:00.002-05:00

Day 5: Cascais e Laura!!!

2008-09-10T19:28:00.009-05:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhh....this is the day we slept in. There is always at least one day we must do this since the previous days were so busy. But it was gooooooooooood. The weather the night before was cool, a nice breeze, and nice sleeping weather.

We got up and went to a mall to look around for a bit. We spent some time in FNAC which was a really cool place and had lunch inside the mall while we waited for the time of our movie: X-Files, I Want to Believe. The movie was good...I was never a big x-files fan, but did watch a couple of seasons about 11 years ago with a boyfriend who loved the show, so I knew who everyone was and so on. One thing that is different from Portuguese movie theatres and American ones is that we do not have intermissions in the middle of the movie! That and I remembered a ton of commercials at the beginning. But here in America, the movie plays the full time and if people must use the restroom or whatever, they simply miss some of the movie! So that was both a little odd and at the same time actually quite

We went from there to the outside of Hotel Baía, right there along the beach. Awaiting us next to a tree was Laura!!! I had been very excited to meet Laura. Laura and I write occasionally because we have a common...well, can't say it is a common interest, but it is a common life issue and that is that we both have an autistic child or children. We sat and had some water and joked and laughed some. Laura went off to meet another friend and also to find her husband, and we met them at Praia de Carcavelos for dinner.

What a sight that was. We were all there, sitting in the restaurant, the 7 of us, with a view to the sea as the sun went down. The conversation was good (what there was in English...it was mostly Portuguese and I do not know much Portuguese but still, listening to them all converse in their language was fascinating!), the food was good, the atmosphere was pleasant...a perfect night for friends and a perfect ending to my trip. I would leave the next day...

Next: Departure from Lisbon, arrival to home and baaaaaaaaaaaaack to work!

Day 4!

2008-09-05T21:02:00.003-05:00

Perfume. I roll over from my back to my side and I don't know what time it is, but I do know that Nela is up and about because I can smell her perfume. Not much longer later, she knocks on the door and I'm up...time to start another day! Discovery is always interesting, but, apparently I snore. All these years and no one mentions it? I'm actually a bit amused by this! LOL

Did I mention before that the New House and the New Village of Falalalala are just quiet and serene and simply beautiful? Ah, yes. Paulo is in the backyard doing something. The back door is open, the sun shines through the windows...seriously people...peace and quiet and beautiful? A slice of heaven...

We've packed up the car and we're heading off on the remainder of this adventure and today we'll be in Alcobaça and to the monastery. At this point, Paulo's camera was not working so there are not many pictures to show, but the place is just amazing. Kings buried in the walls? The design of the inside of the building, the ceiling, is unbelievable. To think that we believe we've come along way in time and then to look back and see just how remarkable buildings like that are is simply astounding. I couldn't help but think who was there and what their lives were like, especially in the upper section of the monastery. The outside court caught my attention. I swear I have seen it before. I thought for sure Nela and Paulo had made a video of it for me but we're not sure that happened. So I am not sure if I had seen it in a travel video at some point, or what, but the feeling was a strange one and I swear I knew that place.

But what got me most of all was the story of King Pedro and Ines. To see their tombs in the middle of the room was also unbelievable...just the fact that it was there was enough, but the details on those tombs must have taken a long, long time and done with care. So Nela told me the story about the two of them which I had never heard before. Later, I would look it up on the internet and read some more about it. Utterly fascinating.

God...Nela...you must tell them about the man singing in the monastery. I've forgotten his name. From a distance, when we did not see him but heard him, I thought it was a woman. But no...it was a man with quite the angelic singing voice who walked up and down isles as he sang and made eye contact with the people there. Beautiful man. I can still see and hear him in my mind.

When we left the monastery, we went in search of one of the most important things in life: A hamburger. Bahahahahaha! And if that wasn't enough, before we even said we were going to do it, I thought to myself (not saying anything) that I'd like to have a hamburger and promptly Nela turns to me and asks me if I'd like to have a hamburger. This is not the first time it's happened like that, nor will it be the last, but I'm always amused with this.

We didn't have a hamburger at that time though, but we did lunch at a very nice place where we sat next to a group of Americans speaking in the same accent as I: Midwestern. That too was a bit amusing, but at least I understood what they were saying, lol!

After lunch we begin our journey back into Lisbon. We would come to learn that a colleague of theirs had passed away. It was cloudy in Lisbon, cool, and feeling like rain...which was much appropriate given the news they had received. They went to visitation in the evening with another friend of theirs, and I stayed back with the cat, computer and television and relaxed in the evening.

Day 5: LAURA!

Day 3, Part 2!

2008-08-31T23:22:00.009-05:00

After lunch, we headed back south, further into Portugal and our destination was Fatima. We'd done a lot of traveling by car, and this was no exception, and during the drive I could not shake at all the thought of my friend back home that I'd mentioned in the previous post. I'd thought about her along the walk through the shops in Santiago. I almost stopped and bought her a rosary, but I was not certain that she was catholic or not and also knowing that she is a very practical person. As things always work out within the Universe, there was something better to do where this friend was concerned, and I'd have that opportunity to do just that.

The sky was clear, the weather cool and the breeze was comparable to a Nebraska autumn breeze, and for me, was a hug from God. There was something so very mystical about Fatima that I cannot explain. From the cross high in the air to the statue of the pope and the buildings that surround the ground, it was clear that this place was very special. I didn't remember the story of Fatima from the catholic church, only from what Nela had told me before about it. We'd wanted to see the new sanctuary, but it had closed just minutes before we got there.

Nela and I went to light candles for some special people in her life, as well as the one gift I'd wanted to give to my friend back home who'd been on my mind all day...to light a candle for her, especially both of her sons, her husband, and peace in her life. I really had no idea what was going on with this friend, just that she'd been on my mind for most of that day, and it wasn't until the morning after I'd return from Portugal would I...and we...understand what that was all about (and maybe weeks beyond that!).
After this, we went to partake of the mass in Spanish. Again, I did not understand a word of it, but that matters not. Spiritually, I understood very well and given prior experience with mass in America, it was easy to know what was going on when. There was one point in the mass that really caught me off guard. It was when Nela turned to me and said that the priest had said in Spanish, "Do not worry, you are not alone". I got goose bumps (chicken skin) and shook my head, because for each of us, there is meaning in that. And at that time, I had needed to hear that.

Nela talked about the tree that had been moved off to the side and the significance of it. There definitely was something very special about the tree, but it was the sanctuary (the old one?) that held my heart. Just look at this picture and tell me there isn't something special about this place...!!! I love the way the light shines in this picture and how serene it is. This is my absolute favorite picture of the bunch.

We walked back to the car after Fatima and I think the three of us were feeling pretty good...laughing and having fun. We ended our evening at the New House of Falalalala where I'd hoped to get to meet the infamous CrisJ (LOL!!!), but, alas, that did not work out and we never did see each other in person. Nela, Paulo and I did play the Wii which was soooooooooo much fun...!

I've forgotten to mention in the previous post that all of these pictures were taken by Paulo!

Up next: Day 4!

Day 3, Part 1!

2008-08-31T22:23:00.009-05:00

The rooster crows at six in the morning. Six. And not once, but continuously! What a way to wake up...bhlercccccccc!!! But, we're up. Paulo and I step out on to the outside deck of the room the three of us stayed in the night before to find the sun brightly shining in our eyes, and yes, that irritating rooster wandering on the grounds of the house below us.

After breakfast, we head across the street to a castle that we'd talked about seeing the night before. The morning was crisp and the buses of people were preparing for a day of sightseeing, much like we were. I love the castles of Portugal, the history behind them, and seeing them even as they are in the present. This one too was not a let down. Lots of shops inside the walls, a couple of churches, lots of things to look at, and a nice walk around the grounds. We exit after a short period of time to go back to the hotel to get our things and continue along the journey.

S P A I N ! Now remember, I still do not know what the plan is nor was I interested in knowing beforehand, but the idea of having crossed over from Portugal to Spain excited me simply for the reason of it being another country that I could now say I had been to. As we drove along the road, I noted that the houses, while very similar to those of Portugal, still felt different to me. Maybe it was more about the space, and some of them having yards that seems familiar.

Those two in the front seat asked me if I knew where we were going. And no, truth is I did not, but I'd seen the signs...all of them pointing to Santiago, and my mind travels back to the Paulo Coehlo book, though at the time I could not remember the name. All I could think of was the road to santiago (The Pilgrimage). Nela introduced me to this author a couple of years back, and sent some books by him, though I still cannot remember which ones (because I have most of them now). So the whole trip I was trying to remember the book and the subsequent ones and then started to think about a friend back home, who, at some point during the academic year (I work in a school) had a very big issue regarding a medical situation and her oldest son. I remembered that I'd given her a copy of one of Paulo Coelho's books during that time and prior to that had sent to her a quote of his that she's used in one of our written announcements. I rememebered that she'd said that this must have been an important book to me to then pass a copy on to her. And she was right: It was important, in more ways that one, and it would be that book that connected us there in Santiago and through the remainder of the day.

And there we were: we'd arrived to Santiago de Compostela. Along the streets were several shops and places to eat. The shops were very cool...lots with Santiago memorabilia, jewelery, rosaries, and so on. The cathedral was a sight to behold. Just look at the details of the building. Brilliance...

But then we step inside the building...crowded indeed, it is no surprise why so many go to see this site, and it was just beautiful. Mass had been going on inside, but soon that was over and everyone was moving about. This is a huge, huge building with a lot of history, including, according to a legend, the remains of Saint James were discovered. Outside, we can see one group after another arriving, cheering themselves on, happy and proud to have finished their own Pilgrimage, which is a walk approximately 100 km or 900 km, depending on the length of pilgrimage a person intends to do. The longer one originates in France and ends on the backside of the cathedral in Santiago, and along the way, the pilgrims learn very much about themselves during the process. That trip takes about 30 days and is honestly a fascinating idea. If I could get away for 30 days, I would do it in a heartbeat.

We continued on and went into shops to have a look around. After this, we headed back into the car and back to Portugal for lunch near the hotel we'd stayed in the night before.

Day 3 part 2 soon!

Day 2

2008-08-23T23:16:00.009-05:00

Still not knowing THE PLAN, we load up in the car and prepare to be gone a couple of days. First stop? The famous House of Falalalala...! I can see why they've fallen in love with this place! Absolutely quiet, beautiful, peaceful! Ah, but we do not stay. We load ourselves back up and prepare to take a journey that sets the ton for this entire time in Portugal.

In the past when looking at pictures on Trek Earth, I would often see pictures of Porto and wanted very much to find a way to see that place. Welllllllllllll...little did I know that I would indeed see it on this trip! The houses along the river caught my attention, even though I'd seen them before in pictures. We drove through it mostly, and I think that I loved to see Porto almost just as much as I love Lisbon. But then we stopped. Pulled into a parking lot and parked the car, got out and into a building. Nela was seemingly very excited, and I had no idea what was going on, but clearly we were stopping to see someone. On the intercom she called upstairs somewhere and the door was opened and who do we see standing in the door? I am telling you, an angel herself. My heart was beating fast, again, because while I knew some days before that Nela said she wanted to see Aida, I had no idea... What a beautiful woman she is. Her husband and son too were very nice, and I was so impressed with them. But what will stay with me forever is that voice. Aida's voice, so soft, so sweet. I wish I magically knew all there was to know about the Portuguese language because I would have loved to have talked with Aida for hours. But to be with her, while not really enough, was a gift in and of itself. We watched a dvd of one of the lunches of the group of ladies in all of their crazy silliness, and still so very emotional with the tears of some of them in the video. Ah...and those of you singing...LOL...and dancing...and living life just as it is. Never, ever will I forget that.

After some time, we leave Aida's house and drive around...and I mean literally around...bahahahahahaha...look...I think that there were very many memorable things about this trip, and always there is a fond memory that we seem to repeat in the next meeting, but this one was driving in circles in the roundabouts. LOLOLOL And well, if that wasn't enough, just for giggles, I am told that, hum, we did not know where the hell we were going to sleep that night. LOLOL!! These two are spontanious, to say the least, but it was very, very funny. It wasn't long before we did find a place in Valença. We went to dinner there and had some very funny discussions about the pronunciation of a couple of English words as well as similarities of some English and Portuguese words. We finished our evening with a small walk near the hotel.

Day 3 was a very important day spiritually. The story of that coming soon!

B....what? LOL!

2008-08-17T22:13:00.002-05:00

The Adventure, Day 1

2008-08-16T19:25:00.008-05:00

Once upon a time, my father-in-law was speaking to people all over the world on a program called ICQ. He met someone, wrote to her for a while, began phone conversations with her and took us to dinner one evening to declare that he'd met someone, online, and that they were in love. Crazy, we thought, but we would support it because we only wanted him to be happy. Sometime down the road, he went to be with her, then she came back with him, fast forward a couple of years and she says to me that she wants me to take a look at some pictures the husband of her cousin has taken of her home country: Portugal. And then tells me I should write to her cousin, because I would like her. I imagined this cousin of hers to be older, chubby, but friendly, like she was. Upon looking at the pictures her cousin's husband had taken, I was in love with the beauty. Oh. My. God. Make no mistake: I never had much of an interest in Portugal let alone knew very much about it, but what stood before me were these pictures of the sea and of places that took my breath away from me. I didn't write the cousin at first, but the husband of the cousin about the pictures I had seen. He'd written back. Then his wife had written. And ah ha! She was not older, nor was she chubby! She was not at all what I had in my mind...but there it began. My father-in-law's then girlfriend and now wife was right: I would like her cousin. Very much so.

In August of 2005 I traveled for the second time outside of the United States, but the first time to Europe. Destination: Lisbon, Portugal. 7 days and every emotion felt told a story all of it's own. The seven hills of Lisbon? Ha...we may not have climbed them all but we walked and walked and walked and by day five we were falling over ehausted, and we have the pictures to prove it! LOL In 2007, I returned with my daughter, who in this time had become the Goddaughter of Nela. We didn't walk as much that time but we saw so many things in Lisbon that a then 6 year old girl would remember for many years to come.

2008? 2008 beat them all. Again I went alone, determined to have a clear mind and to not fall victim of the cloudy mind that comes with me during travel riding one one plane to the next. I was determined to always stay in the now, to experience everything as it occurred and without concern with how fast it would go (because life is always on fast forward when we are with people we love and in places we love to be). 2005 I thought was a spiritual quest. Not so. 2008 showed that there was waaaaaaay more to understand and to live and I had that very opportunity!!

Day 1 I arrive in Lisbon a little late due to congestion in Lisbon they told us on the plane from Madrid. Off the plane, my heart is already beating fast and I am cursing the luggage telling it to hurry the hell up please. It appears much to my relief...grab and go!!! Walk, turn, walk, turn again and then out in the open and I am looking for Nela and Paulo, and...there they are! Nela runs to me with open arms to give one of those famous hugs of hers. So welcoming, so nice, so sweet. Awww. I always look forward to that. Hugs, kisses, take luggage and go. Do I want to know what THE PLAN is?? Nope. Let's just do it...

What was it? LOL We're driving along and she points out the car of a friend of hers and I'm thinking, hummmmmm...it doesn't register to me at all what we are doing until we get out of the car and she tells me I am getting a massage. A massage!!! I've never had one, I am exhausted from the trip and a massage would be nice, yes. Of course, my brain is mush at that point from flying and lack of sleep, so it does shock the living hell out of me when they explain that I must take my clothes off and wear this next to nothing paper thong thingy. What??!!!! Ok ok, so yes, my reaction was stupid I decided later, and quite funny, but heh, I put my reluctance to the side and took the stuff off and put the little itty bitty thing on and went to the table. I could have slept there. I could have drooled all over the table. I am not even sure what I was thinking about then. I am not sure that I remember much of anything at that point. Bahahahahahaha...!!! But I was moved. I felt very grateful to have a friend who knew I'd never had a massage before and who would schedule one for me right as I came off of the plane after all of those hours of flight. No one else would have ever thought of that. *I* would have never thought of that. When I arrived home, friends asked about the surprise and all of them too thought that it was such a sweet gesture...God... Kisses to you Nela. You are a wonderful friend and so very thoughtful!

After that, my head was spinning and I was instructed to get up very slowly, lolol, and I did, but I still was swaying a bit to the side trying to put my clothes back on. I came out and on the other side of the door was Paulo waiting, my big brother, and he'd repeated what the friend of Nela's said: that she said I was to get up slowly. LOL!!!!

After this, we went to Pasteis de Belem which I had asked about after the second trip to Portugal. Yuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. The place was crowded as it always is I am told, and again I say yuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm. Very fascinating place! It was huuuuuuuuuuge! And just see these two:

Then we went on to meet another friend of Nela's that I had been looking forward to meeting. It was great to meet her, but I found the conversation between she and Nela and even Paulo fascinating...not that I understood a damn word of it...no, but the way the dynamics were and how it felt in that place. I loved very much to see them all converse.

After this, we went to dinner at a place in Alfama we'd been to the first time I was there and wanted to return. Nela's mother joined us for dinner there as well. Mmmmmmmmmm...

Day 2 to follow soon!

What are you planning? Hum?

2008-07-31T22:12:00.001-05:00

Nela, Nela, Nela...tell me...tell me...come on!!!!!

LOL

Rest in Peace Randy Pausch!

2008-07-25T14:12:00.002-05:00

Randy passed away today of pancreatic cancer...

LOL!

2008-07-24T20:49:00.002-05:00

Hmmm....hum hum...

2008-07-08T09:45:00.002-05:00

Ah, this is "my" palace. One day, I will see the inside of it. LOVED this place! What was up my with hair though?! LOL

Calling the glasses forks - a metaphorical approach!

2008-07-01T23:56:00.000-05:00

...I think that it is important to know that no one here is trying to push anything on you spiritually because what is more important is just the ability to be able to consider things on different levels. For me, being compassionate, humane and so on, has so much more to do with spirituality than religion does. And I am pretty sure that our friend meant the comment about forks and glasses metaphorically. Yes, they are what they are, to you they serve a purpose, but to another they may serve a completely different purpose. And she is right, it doesn't matter, they are just words, what matters is how you feel about...anything having to do with your life, not the opinion of another or the interpretation of another. LOL It has very little to do with glasses and forks and a lot to do with being an individual who sees things for herself.

Read!

2008-06-28T23:19:00.002-05:00

The evolution of hair...LOL

2008-06-27T14:25:00.005-05:00

From a year ago until now...

...

2008-06-27T08:20:00.001-05:00

Julia Roskilly

2008-06-23T00:00:00.001-05:00

49, of 375 Bandy Ave., Galesburg, IL, died at 10:35 PM Thursday May 24, 2007 at her home.
She was born September 11, 1957 in Bloomington, IL the daughter of Edward F. and Ethel Mae Brake Humbles. She married Bruce Lenz in 1985 in Lincoln, NE. He preceded her in death in November 1990. She married Rollie L. Roskilly on May 27, 1992 in Lincoln. He survives.
Also surviving is her mother, Ethel Mae Humbles in Lincoln, two sons, Zachery (and Ashley) Roskilly of Olathe, KS and Kyle Lenz of Galesburg; one daughter, Rebecca S. (and Ben) Beary of Rockford, IL, three sisters, Linda (and Drew) Savage of Kansas City, KS, Cindy Clark of Lincoln, and Deb (and John) Chilen of Loveland, CO, and one grandson, Abraham Beary. She was preceded in death by her father and one sister, Laurie Clem.
She worked at Walgreens at Henderson and Fremont Streets in Galesburg for 7 years, 5 of which as the assistant manager. She had lived in Galesburg since 1999. She graduated form Lincoln East High School in 1975 and received an associate’s degree from Southeast Community College in Lincoln. She was a member of the First Assembly of God in Rockford, IL and the Calvary Assembly of God in Alliance, NE. She was a member of the Beta Sigma Phi Sorority, Galesburg Chapter Preceptor Mu Tau.
Cremation will be accorded. Memorial service will be 10 AM Friday, June 1, 2007 in the Lincoln Memorial Funeral Home, Lincoln, NE. Visitation will be 6 to 8 PM Wednesday, May 30, 2007 in Hinchliff-Pearson-West Galesburg Chapel. Burial will be in Lincoln Memorial Park. Memorials may be made to Preceptor Mu Tau to distribute to local Galesburg charities. Online condolences may be made at www.h-p-w.com.

We are not promised tomorrow...

2008-06-20T23:56:00.007-05:00

For you...

2008-06-17T23:04:00.003-05:00

I'm glad you're here.

Jinhos

What's in a name?

2008-06-17T17:02:00.002-05:00

I don't usually go around posting my last name, but since it is no longer my last name, I will discuss it...LOL

I'm wondering, just how difficult is it to pronounce "Kurtenbach"? My own mother calls it "Kurkenbach". I've had a telemarketer call me in the past and ask for "Ms. Kurtenbitch". A professor I once had didn't say it wrong, but he wrote it in a very interesting manner: "Kunterbach". I always joke that at least it wasn't "Kuntercock" or something truly obscene, lololol.

Today, I attended traffic court for a violation and the judge, reading straight from the document he had in front of me, called for "Kurkenbach". LOL When he asked me as I was approaching the bench if I was she, I should have said no, but alas, that probably would not have been a good idea.

Say it with me folks: Kur ten bach.

All good?

LOL

Severe Weather...

2008-06-11T22:02:00.002-05:00

Video of the tornado warning in Lincoln from my front door on June 11, 2008.

This storm took the lives of 4 young people at a camp in Iowa. May peace be with their families...

The End is Near...finally walking away

2008-06-09T10:53:00.004-05:00

2008-06-08T10:03:00.001-05:00

Nasty, nasty weather here!

2008-06-07T19:57:00.002-05:00

Wait for the stupid commercial to get over...grrrrr...

A New Earth

2008-06-05T22:24:00.000-05:00

Oprah is doing a summer school session online with her viewers on this book. I bought this book a while back after reading another selection of this author's and was just thrilled to see Oprah select this book for her book club. I will use this blog as a means of communicating what I am learning while reading this book and doing the exercises. Also, there are two book clubs in my city reading and discussing this book that I am hoping to join!

Until then, see these Awakening Exercises.